[Oh he's ready. Has the shirt in a plastic bag from some shopping he'd done. Ready to go!]
ready for the great shirt trade off package is outside the door ready for pick up
[Simon moves to sit with his back to the door in fact, door locked. Again it's not Harrow he's afraid of. It's... what this place might make Harrow do.]
[ Harrow slips one of his denim button ups into a bag as well. Look, he wears those the most. It's only a fraction for his own amusement.
He's there at Simon's door soon enough, and he hates how easily he picks up Simon's scent from the bag before he even gets there. Kneeling down to take the bag and switch it with his own, he realizes the scent behind the door is strong as well. That, or he's just really good at picking it up.
His heartbeat picks up, breathing getting heavier as his eyes shut, and he inhales deep, feeling almost overwhelmed. He doesn't even realize he's leaning forward, hand on the door, trying to pick up on...something. Anything. Simon's heartbeat, his breathing, what can he feel? He hasn't been this close to him in what feels like ages. ]
[His heartbeat already picks up a little just from that. On my way.
He hears Harrow outside the door, the slight creak of the wood as that hand and some of his weight pushes into it. For a beat he holds his breath, but then exhales.]
... Harrow?
[A stupid question, he knows it's him. Can smell him. Like usual it's like his body lights up, goosebumps along his arms, breath coming just a smidge quicker.
He's almost afraid to move. Simon's heartbeat, his scent, his voice — the only thing between himself and Simon is a door that he could easily bust down. While those unwelcomed thoughts resurface, there's something else, it's the only other thing he feels when he's not thinking about...about that night.
He opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. Instead, he takes the bag and stands, quickly retreating down the hall. It's not until he's back in his own room that he texts Simon again, just in case he didn't notice that he had gone. ]
[For a moment there's no movement, but it's not quiet. He can still hear him. His breath, smell him... but then he's leaving, without answering back and Simon feels a lump in his throat form.
The text comes a few minutes later. He'll look at it, turns his phone screen off and opens the door to his room. Snatching the bag up he'll close the door and sits there on the floor already overwhelmed by the scent of it.
His wings ruffle, feathers fluffing up a bit like some bird trying to make itself look bigger more threatening. God it's just a shirt. Just a smell. It can't hurt him. Removing the shirt from the bag he'll hold it up, denim button up, of course.
He has to fight the urge to run, hide. Instead he'll bring the shirt to his face, buries his nose in it. Inhales deep, sharply and then chucks it across the room.]
[ Harrow took a seat in the living room after sending that text, the bag sitting beside him. His heart is still beating fast, and he's not sure if that's because of what just happened or if it's because of Simon's scent smacking him in the face right now.
He has to remind himself repeatedly; it's just Simon. Simon is his friend. They've known each other for years. He loves Simon. He would never hurt him. He killed for him, for fuck's sake.
His phone chimes, he takes it out of his pocket to check. ]
[He'll type and delete 'I miss you', don't make this weirder, Simon.]
yeah I know we will
[Even if it kills me, he'll think, because if he has to exist here without Harrow it'll drive him crazy. Having him this close, but being too scared to be near him. What kind of life is that?
He barely leaves the hotel either. This isn't living.]
It's not crazy. I want to be able to be in the same room with you again.
[ Was that weird? Does that sound weird? It's true. That's the whole point of them doing this, right? So, why does it feel so strange and embarrassing for him to say that??? ]
Just try to remember being stuck with me, if it helps.
[ Yes, they can joke. Just like they always do.
Though, when Simon asks about the shirt, he can't help but glance over at the bag again. Truth be told, he's a little scared to take it out of the bag. He can already smell it. ]
I wouldn't worry about that. Your shirts trigger pareidolia so strong I believe my newly animal brain is mistaking its patterns for an apex predator. Frightening.
[ Never mind that he has already absentmindedly taken it out of the bag, shamefully holding it to his nose and inhaling like his life depended on it. The hairs on his arms stand up. ]
[He'll push himself up, looks over where the shirt landed after he tossed it. He'll walk over like, hair raised like some frightened kitten as he gets closer.
It's a fucking shirt, brain. Stop it.]
suuure I bet you're cowering in a corner right now
[He jokes even as his own brain tells him that's what he should be doing. Hiding.]
[And he doesn't mean that as if he has to accept Harrow is all he has. Harrow had become one of the most important people to him in his life before he died... he wanted to be with him.]
terrified
[He parrots back what Harrow typed before. Kneeling down he'll pick up the shirt, gingerly, breathes out. His eyes dart around, as if he expects Harrow to appear out of no where. Stupid. That's stupid.]
[Honestly he's shocked they're still talking right now, but... but he's grateful that Harrow is here to talk with as they both go handle this.]
yeah kind of I mean I am right now but the smell your smell it makes me want to run like that first time
run and get away hide but it's just a shirt it's just a smell these can't hurt me I know that
[Simon closes his eyes, brings it to his face again, not as close, nose just barely touching it. There's a twinge of pain in his shoulder remembering that night. The terror. The fear. The hurt.]
[ That's terrible. It's terrible, it's awful, and for some reason it excites him. It makes him breathe heavier, his heart race...he's not even thinking about it when he places the shirt on his shoulder, close to his face while keeping one of his hands free.
Like that first time. He doesn't want to think about it, but he can't help it, that night plays through his head over and over again, how he hunted down Simon, chased him, pinned him to the ground...
[The ding of the text message snaps him out of it, pulling the shirt away as he can feel his hands starting to shake again. His head does a little swivel, looking, it's just him, it's okay.
It doesn't stop the shudder of his breath as he breathes out. He'll go sit in the living room area, folds his wings up against his back and unbuttons the shirt, though his fingers have a little trouble what with them being unsteady. Picking his phone back up he'll answer back.]
is that why you left without answering me? when I called to you? so you wouldn't hurt me
[It doesn't make him afraid, it... it makes him trust Harrow more, that he took those precautions. Simon will pull the shirt around his shoulders now, it's bigger than what he usually wears so even with his wings it's enough to at least pull across himself like some terrible denim shawl.]
[ That's the thing. He knows Simon trusts him. He helped him cover up a murder. He believed his insane theory that Francis Chester was still alive, even when he hadn't believed himself. And even now, after almost being torn apart by him, Simon still trusts him. That's why he hates himself for having these thoughts. For feeling these things. For letting his hand wander a little too low, hesitantly ghosting over himself. ]
Yeah. Sorry.
For what it's worth, I didn't feel like I wanted to hurt you. But I had trouble leaving, and it worried me.
no you're right it was probably better you know to be careful
I trust you harrow I don't trust what this place might make us do
[What it's apparently made others do. He'll turn his head, press his nose into the collar of Harrow's shirt. It's... he tries to pinpoint what exactly Harrow's scent is. Before it was just some cologne he always wore back home, cheap, inexpensive, but so Harrow. Here he can smell so much more. It's not just Harrow, it's some animalistic thing.
A strong powerful musk that his normal nose wouldn't be able to smell. He'll shiver, thinking maybe he's had enough for one day. Maybe he should put this away for now.]
not sure if this is more weird or not but talking with you helps me not be so afraid
[ Even if a part of him really doesn't hate it. And he hates that he doesn't hate it. But, at the same time, he hates it.
It's all very confusing.
Regardless, it seems no matter what Simon says, this conversation continues to stir something in him, shamefully. It's knowing that Simon isn't far, somewhere in this building, smelling his shirt, fearing him, but trusting him. Harrow's not a power hungry man by any means, but the fact that he has this much over Simon...
Awful. He's awful. The fact that he's inhaling the scent of that shirt like it's his drug, touching himself, just reminds him how awful he's becoming. Terrible. But he doesn't stop. ]
I'll talk to you as long as you need, Simon. I'm here for you, even if I'm not in the same room.
[He knows Harrow is a good man under a lot of what he shows to people, not that a lot of it isn't really him too. He likes that though, likes that he gets to see a lot of it. Even if some of what he's seen did scare him, does scare him, things only a few people know about Harrow.
Guess him being dead back home tied up a loose end for Harrow though.]
what about you? you okay?
[Simon breathes out, breathes in. It's okay. It's okay. Relax, Simon. Maybe he could take a note from Fairley, do some meditation, focused breathing exercises or something. It might help.]
[If Simon knew what Harrow was up to... he wouldn't be disgusted, he'd be confused. But. He doesn't know what Harrow is doing. They're just texting, right?]
good hey wanna see something funny?
[Simon sends a picture of him with that denim button up pulled loosely around his shoulders like a cape, hand perched under his chin making a stupid duck face.]
idk maybe you have a point harrow denim might be my new look
[ Of course, just texting! Nothing more going on here!
Harrow was not expecting Simon to send a picture of himself, goofy and just so very Simon. Despite what's happening to him right now, he still huffs a laugh, oh Simon, you goofy bastard.
It's amazing how quickly his brain can switch gears. At first, he thinks that single goofy picture is enough to snap him out of it. But just as fast, paying extra attention to his shirt draped over Simon's shoulders, thinking about how he's (sort of) wearing his shirt, with his scent...
...Damn it.
He exhales sharply, gently squeezing himself as he wonders what the fuck is wrong with him. ]
It was only a matter of time before you came around. Good to see you can stand having it on you like that.
[How sensual, wearing the gift he left Simon and wrapping it around himself like that. Wrapping his scent around him. Everyone would know Simon was his.]
stand having it on me sure you just can't see me shaking from it
[Not to try and make Harrow feel bad, but he doesn't want to give the impression that in 20 minutes he's cured by putting his shirt on.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 09:01 am (UTC)ready for the great shirt trade off
package is outside the door ready for pick up
[Simon moves to sit with his back to the door in fact, door locked. Again it's not Harrow he's afraid of. It's... what this place might make Harrow do.]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 09:17 am (UTC)[ Harrow slips one of his denim button ups into a bag as well. Look, he wears those the most. It's only a fraction for his own amusement.
He's there at Simon's door soon enough, and he hates how easily he picks up Simon's scent from the bag before he even gets there. Kneeling down to take the bag and switch it with his own, he realizes the scent behind the door is strong as well. That, or he's just really good at picking it up.
His heartbeat picks up, breathing getting heavier as his eyes shut, and he inhales deep, feeling almost overwhelmed. He doesn't even realize he's leaning forward, hand on the door, trying to pick up on...something. Anything. Simon's heartbeat, his breathing, what can he feel? He hasn't been this close to him in what feels like ages. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 09:33 am (UTC)He hears Harrow outside the door, the slight creak of the wood as that hand and some of his weight pushes into it. For a beat he holds his breath, but then exhales.]
... Harrow?
[A stupid question, he knows it's him. Can smell him. Like usual it's like his body lights up, goosebumps along his arms, breath coming just a smidge quicker.
Don't be afraid. It's just Harrow. It's Harrow.]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 09:51 am (UTC)He's almost afraid to move. Simon's heartbeat, his scent, his voice — the only thing between himself and Simon is a door that he could easily bust down. While those unwelcomed thoughts resurface, there's something else, it's the only other thing he feels when he's not thinking about...about that night.
He opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. Instead, he takes the bag and stands, quickly retreating down the hall. It's not until he's back in his own room that he texts Simon again, just in case he didn't notice that he had gone. ]
Done.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 10:12 am (UTC)The text comes a few minutes later. He'll look at it, turns his phone screen off and opens the door to his room. Snatching the bag up he'll close the door and sits there on the floor already overwhelmed by the scent of it.
His wings ruffle, feathers fluffing up a bit like some bird trying to make itself look bigger more threatening. God it's just a shirt. Just a smell. It can't hurt him. Removing the shirt from the bag he'll hold it up, denim button up, of course.
He has to fight the urge to run, hide. Instead he'll bring the shirt to his face, buries his nose in it. Inhales deep, sharply and then chucks it across the room.]
Fuck—
[Simon is shaking as he answers the text back.]
thanks
fingers crossed this works
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 10:36 am (UTC)He has to remind himself repeatedly; it's just Simon. Simon is his friend. They've known each other for years. He loves Simon. He would never hurt him. He killed for him, for fuck's sake.
His phone chimes, he takes it out of his pocket to check. ]
We'll figure it out.
[ They have to. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 10:45 am (UTC)yeah I know
we will
[Even if it kills me, he'll think, because if he has to exist here without Harrow it'll drive him crazy. Having him this close, but being too scared to be near him. What kind of life is that?
He barely leaves the hotel either. This isn't living.]
thanks for going along with this crazy idea
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 10:52 am (UTC)[ Was that weird? Does that sound weird? It's true. That's the whole point of them doing this, right? So, why does it feel so strange and embarrassing for him to say that??? ]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 11:06 am (UTC)with you I mean not me
already stuck with myself
[Since Harrow says it it doesn't feel so strange to admit it. Why should he be embarrassed anyway. He's dead, living a second life here.
Don't let stupid shit get in the way, Simon.]
you okay? haven't eaten the shirt have you?
that's prime simon smell after all
[A little joking. They need it.]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 11:33 am (UTC)[ Yes, they can joke. Just like they always do.
Though, when Simon asks about the shirt, he can't help but glance over at the bag again. Truth be told, he's a little scared to take it out of the bag. He can already smell it. ]
I wouldn't worry about that. Your shirts trigger pareidolia so strong I believe my newly animal brain is mistaking its patterns for an apex predator. Frightening.
[ Never mind that he has already absentmindedly taken it out of the bag, shamefully holding it to his nose and inhaling like his life depended on it. The hairs on his arms stand up. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 11:51 am (UTC)rather be stuck with you
[He'll push himself up, looks over where the shirt landed after he tossed it. He'll walk over like, hair raised like some frightened kitten as he gets closer.
It's a fucking shirt, brain. Stop it.]
suuure I bet you're cowering in a corner right now
[He jokes even as his own brain tells him that's what he should be doing. Hiding.]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 12:20 pm (UTC)[ On the opposite end of the spectrum, Harrow can't stop holding Simon's shirt to his face, barely registering the rumble in his throat. ]
Terrified.
[ Seriously, self. Stop it. Stop it. Stop thinking about going over there. No. ]
How are you feeling?
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 12:30 pm (UTC)[And he doesn't mean that as if he has to accept Harrow is all he has. Harrow had become one of the most important people to him in his life before he died... he wanted to be with him.]
terrified
[He parrots back what Harrow typed before. Kneeling down he'll pick up the shirt, gingerly, breathes out. His eyes dart around, as if he expects Harrow to appear out of no where. Stupid. That's stupid.]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 01:20 pm (UTC)He shifts uncomfortably. Ugh, this is weird and awful. ]
Are you able to hold it?
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 01:26 pm (UTC)yeah
kind of I mean I am right now
but the smell your smell it makes me want to run like that first time
run and get away hide
but it's just a shirt
it's just a smell these can't hurt me I know that
[Simon closes his eyes, brings it to his face again, not as close, nose just barely touching it. There's a twinge of pain in his shoulder remembering that night. The terror. The fear. The hurt.]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 02:30 pm (UTC)Like that first time. He doesn't want to think about it, but he can't help it, that night plays through his head over and over again, how he hunted down Simon, chased him, pinned him to the ground...
No. No, no, no. Stop it. ]
I won't hurt you again. Ever.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 03:03 pm (UTC)It doesn't stop the shudder of his breath as he breathes out. He'll go sit in the living room area, folds his wings up against his back and unbuttons the shirt, though his fingers have a little trouble what with them being unsteady. Picking his phone back up he'll answer back.]
is that why you left without answering me?
when I called to you?
so you wouldn't hurt me
[It doesn't make him afraid, it... it makes him trust Harrow more, that he took those precautions. Simon will pull the shirt around his shoulders now, it's bigger than what he usually wears so even with his wings it's enough to at least pull across himself like some terrible denim shawl.]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 03:23 pm (UTC)Yeah. Sorry.
For what it's worth, I didn't feel like I wanted to hurt you. But I had trouble leaving, and it worried me.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 03:48 pm (UTC)to be careful
I trust you harrow
I don't trust what this place might make us do
[What it's apparently made others do. He'll turn his head, press his nose into the collar of Harrow's shirt. It's... he tries to pinpoint what exactly Harrow's scent is. Before it was just some cologne he always wore back home, cheap, inexpensive, but so Harrow. Here he can smell so much more. It's not just Harrow, it's some animalistic thing.
A strong powerful musk that his normal nose wouldn't be able to smell. He'll shiver, thinking maybe he's had enough for one day. Maybe he should put this away for now.]
not sure if this is more weird or not but talking with you helps me not be so afraid
no subject
Date: 2022-10-09 01:36 am (UTC)[ Even if a part of him really doesn't hate it. And he hates that he doesn't hate it. But, at the same time, he hates it.
It's all very confusing.
Regardless, it seems no matter what Simon says, this conversation continues to stir something in him, shamefully. It's knowing that Simon isn't far, somewhere in this building, smelling his shirt, fearing him, but trusting him. Harrow's not a power hungry man by any means, but the fact that he has this much over Simon...
Awful. He's awful. The fact that he's inhaling the scent of that shirt like it's his drug, touching himself, just reminds him how awful he's becoming. Terrible. But he doesn't stop. ]
I'll talk to you as long as you need, Simon. I'm here for you, even if I'm not in the same room.
[ His filter is failing him just a tiny bit... ]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-09 04:03 am (UTC)[He knows Harrow is a good man under a lot of what he shows to people, not that a lot of it isn't really him too. He likes that though, likes that he gets to see a lot of it. Even if some of what he's seen did scare him, does scare him, things only a few people know about Harrow.
Guess him being dead back home tied up a loose end for Harrow though.]
what about you?
you okay?
[Simon breathes out, breathes in. It's okay. It's okay. Relax, Simon. Maybe he could take a note from Fairley, do some meditation, focused breathing exercises or something. It might help.]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-09 04:34 am (UTC)[ That's why he has his hands down his pants right now. Terrible. Maybe if he beats himself up over it enough, he'll find the will to stop.
So far, that hasn't been working. ]
Never better.
[ He has definitely been better. By miles. ]
Talking to you helps me too.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-09 05:28 am (UTC)[If Simon knew what Harrow was up to... he wouldn't be disgusted, he'd be confused. But. He doesn't know what Harrow is doing. They're just texting, right?]
good
hey wanna see something funny?
[Simon sends a picture of him with that denim button up pulled loosely around his shoulders like a cape, hand perched under his chin making a stupid duck face.]
idk maybe you have a point harrow
denim might be my new look
no subject
Date: 2022-10-09 06:27 am (UTC)Harrow was not expecting Simon to send a picture of himself, goofy and just so very Simon. Despite what's happening to him right now, he still huffs a laugh, oh Simon, you goofy bastard.
It's amazing how quickly his brain can switch gears. At first, he thinks that single goofy picture is enough to snap him out of it. But just as fast, paying extra attention to his shirt draped over Simon's shoulders, thinking about how he's (sort of) wearing his shirt, with his scent...
...Damn it.
He exhales sharply, gently squeezing himself as he wonders what the fuck is wrong with him. ]
It was only a matter of time before you came around. Good to see you can stand having it on you like that.
[ Really, really, good. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-09 06:58 am (UTC)stand having it on me sure
you just can't see me shaking from it
[Not to try and make Harrow feel bad, but he doesn't want to give the impression that in 20 minutes he's cured by putting his shirt on.]
the things we do for a cute selfie
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