[Why's that, Harrow? Something you want to tell the class?]
harrow I swear to god I'm being serious
look I thought I just needed some time but it's not you that scares me it's the smell of you every time it's like my whole body and mind go into this weird panic mode but maybe if I can just get used to that scent it won't be like that
so I know it's fucking weird but just I need something you've worn and not cleaned that I can smell
[This is the gayest shit he's ever said in his life and it's not even like that!]
But okay, okay, no more joking. Truth is, he's feeling a little shame, considering Simon's scent is still on the sheets when he was sleeping on the bed and Harrow has...been drawn to it. This whole thing is just so bloody WEIRD. ]
It does make sense. If we can't stop ourselves from succumbing to these instincts, then we'll have to...train them?
[ That sounds fucking weird to say. Like they're animals. ]
God, it's. So weird. It can't be stated enough. Harrow actually got rid of the bedsheets after a few nights, feeling guilty and crappy, but Simon isn't the only one who has to learn how to control this. More so him, since he's apparently prone to violence. ]
Suppose it would be a good idea if We both Yes. You should.
[Weird. This is weird. There, stated a few more times.]
okay I'll do thaht that* you working right now? I can wait until you're at the hotel
[Simon will just. Take the shirt off he's wearing now. Maybe he's worn it a couple days okay, he's kind of mostly been inside after all. Not like he's running around getting gross and sweaty, but two days worth of Simon scent! Even better?]
Edited (words hard) Date: 2022-10-08 08:42 am (UTC)
[ And he will! Several hours later, because of course he stayed behind a bit longer, once he's in the hotel and stepping into his room he'll text Simon. A long day of work was nice and distracting, but now he's remembering the still understated weirdness of this whole...thing. ]
[Oh he's ready. Has the shirt in a plastic bag from some shopping he'd done. Ready to go!]
ready for the great shirt trade off package is outside the door ready for pick up
[Simon moves to sit with his back to the door in fact, door locked. Again it's not Harrow he's afraid of. It's... what this place might make Harrow do.]
[ Harrow slips one of his denim button ups into a bag as well. Look, he wears those the most. It's only a fraction for his own amusement.
He's there at Simon's door soon enough, and he hates how easily he picks up Simon's scent from the bag before he even gets there. Kneeling down to take the bag and switch it with his own, he realizes the scent behind the door is strong as well. That, or he's just really good at picking it up.
His heartbeat picks up, breathing getting heavier as his eyes shut, and he inhales deep, feeling almost overwhelmed. He doesn't even realize he's leaning forward, hand on the door, trying to pick up on...something. Anything. Simon's heartbeat, his breathing, what can he feel? He hasn't been this close to him in what feels like ages. ]
[His heartbeat already picks up a little just from that. On my way.
He hears Harrow outside the door, the slight creak of the wood as that hand and some of his weight pushes into it. For a beat he holds his breath, but then exhales.]
... Harrow?
[A stupid question, he knows it's him. Can smell him. Like usual it's like his body lights up, goosebumps along his arms, breath coming just a smidge quicker.
He's almost afraid to move. Simon's heartbeat, his scent, his voice — the only thing between himself and Simon is a door that he could easily bust down. While those unwelcomed thoughts resurface, there's something else, it's the only other thing he feels when he's not thinking about...about that night.
He opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. Instead, he takes the bag and stands, quickly retreating down the hall. It's not until he's back in his own room that he texts Simon again, just in case he didn't notice that he had gone. ]
[For a moment there's no movement, but it's not quiet. He can still hear him. His breath, smell him... but then he's leaving, without answering back and Simon feels a lump in his throat form.
The text comes a few minutes later. He'll look at it, turns his phone screen off and opens the door to his room. Snatching the bag up he'll close the door and sits there on the floor already overwhelmed by the scent of it.
His wings ruffle, feathers fluffing up a bit like some bird trying to make itself look bigger more threatening. God it's just a shirt. Just a smell. It can't hurt him. Removing the shirt from the bag he'll hold it up, denim button up, of course.
He has to fight the urge to run, hide. Instead he'll bring the shirt to his face, buries his nose in it. Inhales deep, sharply and then chucks it across the room.]
[ Harrow took a seat in the living room after sending that text, the bag sitting beside him. His heart is still beating fast, and he's not sure if that's because of what just happened or if it's because of Simon's scent smacking him in the face right now.
He has to remind himself repeatedly; it's just Simon. Simon is his friend. They've known each other for years. He loves Simon. He would never hurt him. He killed for him, for fuck's sake.
His phone chimes, he takes it out of his pocket to check. ]
[He'll type and delete 'I miss you', don't make this weirder, Simon.]
yeah I know we will
[Even if it kills me, he'll think, because if he has to exist here without Harrow it'll drive him crazy. Having him this close, but being too scared to be near him. What kind of life is that?
He barely leaves the hotel either. This isn't living.]
It's not crazy. I want to be able to be in the same room with you again.
[ Was that weird? Does that sound weird? It's true. That's the whole point of them doing this, right? So, why does it feel so strange and embarrassing for him to say that??? ]
Just try to remember being stuck with me, if it helps.
[ Yes, they can joke. Just like they always do.
Though, when Simon asks about the shirt, he can't help but glance over at the bag again. Truth be told, he's a little scared to take it out of the bag. He can already smell it. ]
I wouldn't worry about that. Your shirts trigger pareidolia so strong I believe my newly animal brain is mistaking its patterns for an apex predator. Frightening.
[ Never mind that he has already absentmindedly taken it out of the bag, shamefully holding it to his nose and inhaling like his life depended on it. The hairs on his arms stand up. ]
[He'll push himself up, looks over where the shirt landed after he tossed it. He'll walk over like, hair raised like some frightened kitten as he gets closer.
It's a fucking shirt, brain. Stop it.]
suuure I bet you're cowering in a corner right now
[He jokes even as his own brain tells him that's what he should be doing. Hiding.]
[And he doesn't mean that as if he has to accept Harrow is all he has. Harrow had become one of the most important people to him in his life before he died... he wanted to be with him.]
terrified
[He parrots back what Harrow typed before. Kneeling down he'll pick up the shirt, gingerly, breathes out. His eyes dart around, as if he expects Harrow to appear out of no where. Stupid. That's stupid.]
[Honestly he's shocked they're still talking right now, but... but he's grateful that Harrow is here to talk with as they both go handle this.]
yeah kind of I mean I am right now but the smell your smell it makes me want to run like that first time
run and get away hide but it's just a shirt it's just a smell these can't hurt me I know that
[Simon closes his eyes, brings it to his face again, not as close, nose just barely touching it. There's a twinge of pain in his shoulder remembering that night. The terror. The fear. The hurt.]
[ That's terrible. It's terrible, it's awful, and for some reason it excites him. It makes him breathe heavier, his heart race...he's not even thinking about it when he places the shirt on his shoulder, close to his face while keeping one of his hands free.
Like that first time. He doesn't want to think about it, but he can't help it, that night plays through his head over and over again, how he hunted down Simon, chased him, pinned him to the ground...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 07:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 07:27 am (UTC)my problem
not being around you is not going to make it better in the long run
or your scent the smell jesus this is so weird
let me borrow something you've worn like a shirt
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 07:36 am (UTC)Simon, if you're interested in giving the button down denim look a try, all you had to do was say so.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 07:48 am (UTC)harrow I swear to god
I'm being serious
look I thought I just needed some time but it's not you that scares me
it's the smell of you every time it's like my whole body and mind go into this weird panic mode
but maybe if I can just get used to that scent it won't be like that
so I know it's fucking weird but just
I need something you've worn and not cleaned that I can
smell
[This is the gayest shit he's ever said in his life and it's not even like that!]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 08:00 am (UTC)But okay, okay, no more joking. Truth is, he's feeling a little shame, considering Simon's scent is still on the sheets when he was sleeping on the bed and Harrow has...been drawn to it. This whole thing is just so bloody WEIRD. ]
It does make sense. If we can't stop ourselves from succumbing to these instincts, then we'll have to...train them?
[ That sounds fucking weird to say. Like they're animals. ]
I'll leave something by your door.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 08:08 am (UTC)fish are friends not food
should I leave something for you?
one of my shirts?
[Why does this sound so WEIRD.]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 08:30 am (UTC)[ He has a daughter, okay.
God, it's. So weird. It can't be stated enough. Harrow actually got rid of the bedsheets after a few nights, feeling guilty and crappy, but Simon isn't the only one who has to learn how to control this. More so him, since he's apparently prone to violence. ]
Suppose it would be a good idea if
We both
Yes. You should.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 08:38 am (UTC)[Weird. This is weird. There, stated a few more times.]
okay I'll do thaht
that*
you working right now? I can wait until you're at the hotel
[Simon will just. Take the shirt off he's wearing now. Maybe he's worn it a couple days okay, he's kind of mostly been inside after all. Not like he's running around getting gross and sweaty, but two days worth of Simon scent! Even better?]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 08:56 am (UTC)[ And he will! Several hours later, because of course he stayed behind a bit longer, once he's in the hotel and stepping into his room he'll text Simon. A long day of work was nice and distracting, but now he's remembering the still understated weirdness of this whole...thing. ]
Ready when you are.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 09:01 am (UTC)ready for the great shirt trade off
package is outside the door ready for pick up
[Simon moves to sit with his back to the door in fact, door locked. Again it's not Harrow he's afraid of. It's... what this place might make Harrow do.]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 09:17 am (UTC)[ Harrow slips one of his denim button ups into a bag as well. Look, he wears those the most. It's only a fraction for his own amusement.
He's there at Simon's door soon enough, and he hates how easily he picks up Simon's scent from the bag before he even gets there. Kneeling down to take the bag and switch it with his own, he realizes the scent behind the door is strong as well. That, or he's just really good at picking it up.
His heartbeat picks up, breathing getting heavier as his eyes shut, and he inhales deep, feeling almost overwhelmed. He doesn't even realize he's leaning forward, hand on the door, trying to pick up on...something. Anything. Simon's heartbeat, his breathing, what can he feel? He hasn't been this close to him in what feels like ages. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 09:33 am (UTC)He hears Harrow outside the door, the slight creak of the wood as that hand and some of his weight pushes into it. For a beat he holds his breath, but then exhales.]
... Harrow?
[A stupid question, he knows it's him. Can smell him. Like usual it's like his body lights up, goosebumps along his arms, breath coming just a smidge quicker.
Don't be afraid. It's just Harrow. It's Harrow.]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 09:51 am (UTC)He's almost afraid to move. Simon's heartbeat, his scent, his voice — the only thing between himself and Simon is a door that he could easily bust down. While those unwelcomed thoughts resurface, there's something else, it's the only other thing he feels when he's not thinking about...about that night.
He opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. Instead, he takes the bag and stands, quickly retreating down the hall. It's not until he's back in his own room that he texts Simon again, just in case he didn't notice that he had gone. ]
Done.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 10:12 am (UTC)The text comes a few minutes later. He'll look at it, turns his phone screen off and opens the door to his room. Snatching the bag up he'll close the door and sits there on the floor already overwhelmed by the scent of it.
His wings ruffle, feathers fluffing up a bit like some bird trying to make itself look bigger more threatening. God it's just a shirt. Just a smell. It can't hurt him. Removing the shirt from the bag he'll hold it up, denim button up, of course.
He has to fight the urge to run, hide. Instead he'll bring the shirt to his face, buries his nose in it. Inhales deep, sharply and then chucks it across the room.]
Fuck—
[Simon is shaking as he answers the text back.]
thanks
fingers crossed this works
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 10:36 am (UTC)He has to remind himself repeatedly; it's just Simon. Simon is his friend. They've known each other for years. He loves Simon. He would never hurt him. He killed for him, for fuck's sake.
His phone chimes, he takes it out of his pocket to check. ]
We'll figure it out.
[ They have to. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 10:45 am (UTC)yeah I know
we will
[Even if it kills me, he'll think, because if he has to exist here without Harrow it'll drive him crazy. Having him this close, but being too scared to be near him. What kind of life is that?
He barely leaves the hotel either. This isn't living.]
thanks for going along with this crazy idea
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 10:52 am (UTC)[ Was that weird? Does that sound weird? It's true. That's the whole point of them doing this, right? So, why does it feel so strange and embarrassing for him to say that??? ]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 11:06 am (UTC)with you I mean not me
already stuck with myself
[Since Harrow says it it doesn't feel so strange to admit it. Why should he be embarrassed anyway. He's dead, living a second life here.
Don't let stupid shit get in the way, Simon.]
you okay? haven't eaten the shirt have you?
that's prime simon smell after all
[A little joking. They need it.]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 11:33 am (UTC)[ Yes, they can joke. Just like they always do.
Though, when Simon asks about the shirt, he can't help but glance over at the bag again. Truth be told, he's a little scared to take it out of the bag. He can already smell it. ]
I wouldn't worry about that. Your shirts trigger pareidolia so strong I believe my newly animal brain is mistaking its patterns for an apex predator. Frightening.
[ Never mind that he has already absentmindedly taken it out of the bag, shamefully holding it to his nose and inhaling like his life depended on it. The hairs on his arms stand up. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 11:51 am (UTC)rather be stuck with you
[He'll push himself up, looks over where the shirt landed after he tossed it. He'll walk over like, hair raised like some frightened kitten as he gets closer.
It's a fucking shirt, brain. Stop it.]
suuure I bet you're cowering in a corner right now
[He jokes even as his own brain tells him that's what he should be doing. Hiding.]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 12:20 pm (UTC)[ On the opposite end of the spectrum, Harrow can't stop holding Simon's shirt to his face, barely registering the rumble in his throat. ]
Terrified.
[ Seriously, self. Stop it. Stop it. Stop thinking about going over there. No. ]
How are you feeling?
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 12:30 pm (UTC)[And he doesn't mean that as if he has to accept Harrow is all he has. Harrow had become one of the most important people to him in his life before he died... he wanted to be with him.]
terrified
[He parrots back what Harrow typed before. Kneeling down he'll pick up the shirt, gingerly, breathes out. His eyes dart around, as if he expects Harrow to appear out of no where. Stupid. That's stupid.]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 01:20 pm (UTC)He shifts uncomfortably. Ugh, this is weird and awful. ]
Are you able to hold it?
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 01:26 pm (UTC)yeah
kind of I mean I am right now
but the smell your smell it makes me want to run like that first time
run and get away hide
but it's just a shirt
it's just a smell these can't hurt me I know that
[Simon closes his eyes, brings it to his face again, not as close, nose just barely touching it. There's a twinge of pain in his shoulder remembering that night. The terror. The fear. The hurt.]
no subject
Date: 2022-10-08 02:30 pm (UTC)Like that first time. He doesn't want to think about it, but he can't help it, that night plays through his head over and over again, how he hunted down Simon, chased him, pinned him to the ground...
No. No, no, no. Stop it. ]
I won't hurt you again. Ever.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: